okay, i am back from holidays with a completely new drive, totally trying to cover up what i was feeling. Dealing with myself is never easy in the first place , coupled with so many things thrown at me, i wonder how i did deal with all.

HAHA its not that i never deal with this kind of things before..its just that every time its different. Methods that worked never seems to work again, and its like the ultimate challenge to find the right way before i do anything stupid.

Of course i regard myself to be a rather rational person, so i wonder under what circumstances will my emotions just cloud my judgement...

Dealing is rather irritating, because i never seem to find the root of the issue. Maybe if i expect less from myself i will survive, but i think it will just return to haunt me someday.

Going to just look the thought away and hope that i will never come across it again.