This is one of the few days I feel emotionally affected by what’s written in books. I have learnt, quite effectively, to partition of my emotions as though I am stuffing them into a locked closet. The closet rarely overflows, you know how much things we normally forget and forgives. Cammie in the book brought back all my emotions to play. She was confused; so I am in real life. She felt that she was unsafe to be around anyone; I felt that I am unfit to stick around with people I can’t. Hiding herself was the most easiest thing she has done in her life and also the most difficult when she was hurt. I feel that way too. I feel unsafe to be around people, even though I hide myself better around people. I no longer feel confident about what am I suppose to do. Am I happy? Will I be truly happy? So many questions unanswered and blocked from my mind until I get the right answers. I think sometimes its not able the right answers, it might be the right questions.
I sort of feel sad for Cammie, what she has been through is like she was no longer herself. In some way like a person being touched by a confessor, she is not herself anymore but still who she is. So what’s difference?
Leanne
